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I am so happy being married and living with my best friend. We adopted our first child, Ari, in 2011 through a domestic adoption and our second, Jude, in 2014.

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Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother's Day

Mother's Day can be a sensitive subject for those who deal with infertility. Sometimes it can feel like the day is almost mocking us. It is there to celebrate everything we haven't been able to achieve.

I haven't attended church on Mother's Day or Father's Day for the last two years, maybe even three years. Because let's be honest, church isn't always an easy place to be at any day of the year for infertile couples. Most things at church are focused around the family. Which I'm not criticizing them for. It just makes it hard to be there sometimes.

But this year, I am going. I am about to put on my big girl pants and go to church on Mother's Day. And guess what?? I know that I'll survive it! I have simply faced the fact that Mother's Day is not about me. At least not yet. Hopefully it will be soon, but for now, it's not about me.

For now, it's about this woman. The woman who gave me life. The woman who was the best mother a little girl could ask for. The woman who is now not only a mother, but a friend.

It's also about this woman. The woman who gave my husband life and raised him to be a kind, caring, and loving man. The woman who has also been a precious mother-in-law to me. (Photo courtesy of Jenny White Photography)

Today is also about this woman, one of the best sisters-in-law a girl could ask for. The woman who has made me an aunt four times. The woman who cares for her children with an endless abundance of love and support. (PS - Ashlee, this was the best picture I could find of us together. We should probably work on that!)

It's also about this woman, who is a patient and loving stepmother. The woman who is always loving on me and praying for me. The woman who is not only an amazing friend to me, but is also like a second mother.

And it's also about these women, my best friends. The women who have been with me through all the tears, anxiety, and small victories. The women whose children will be my child's sweet playmates.
Today, on Mother's Day, I will celebrate these incredible women. One day it will be about me too, but for now, I rejoice with them. And I know that when my time comes, they will be rejoicing and celebrating me as well.


Jeanne Reeves Priest said...

Love you sweetheart! Thank you for being my daughter and blessing my life more than you can imagine! ♥ you!

Ryan Hernandez said...

It's about you too Vanessa. A mother isn't only defined by giving birth and not all who gave birth can call themselves a mother. There is a child out there who is jut waiting for the match. Happy mothers day to you my dear.

Lori Connell said...

Thank you, first for reminding us and teaching is to be more compassionate people on days like today and Second for being a women who has opened her heart to receive a child of the heart and is steadfast and faithful in the wait. I love you Vanessa!

Anonymous said...

I love you Vanessa! I do understand how you feel, I have been there and have experienced this first hand. I love you for so many reasons and though I have not lived near you or have been with you prior to 2001, I do know and feel your heart! You are a TRUE inspiration of courage and faith. I am so proud of you dear Vanessa! I know I say this a lot, but I do want you to know, these words are not just from my mouth, paper or a forum such as you blog, these words come from my heart! Your courage, faith and love have truly moved me to tears at times and other times have made us all smile. I just want to say simply, "I love you." Aunt Lola

Shelley Gwartney said...

A mother is a mother because of her heart. Her heart that wants to love on and build up her kids and has the strength to do the no-so-fun-parts of parenting. A mother's heart rejoices and mourns when her kid's hearts do. I know you are a mother- you have a mother's heart! I am praying for you. Have a blessed holiday as you realize the hope you have in God and that ALL things work together for you according to His will. You have a heart like His and He will bless you...so be excited...cuz it's gonna happen before you know it! :)

Danna 'Nelson' Townsdin said...

I am honored and blessed to know you and to walk beside you in this journey! You know, I am going to think that baby is mine, too!!! ;o) Love you, girlie!

Shane Coffman said...

I think that's a great, God-honoring perspective! Thanks for sharing!