Adoption must be taken one day at a time. You can't get too far ahead of yourself, simply because things rarely stay the same or consistent in this process. And yes, I'm writing this because it seems that we might have a change. Or at least a bump in the road.
Yesterday the adoption agency told us that the birthmom was having a doctor's appointment later that evening. I'm not sure what OB has evening appointments, but apparently hers does. So, naturally, I was a little anxious all day waiting to hear news. I had pretty much assumed that something a little significant would happen since she's due August 7th and a week and a half ago her doctor said he wasn't going to let her go much longer.
So I waited, and waited, and waited. 8:00pm rolled around and I decided to check in with the agency worker. She still hadn't heard anything from the birthmom. Then 10:00pm rolls around and still nothing.
This morning and this afternoon? Nothing. I know the agency has tried to get a hold of her a few times, but they aren't getting anything back. They said all we can do is wait for her to contact them.
This could be nothing. This could be her preoccupied with the two children she already has. This could be her miserably pregnant in this awful Oklahoma heat. Returning phone calls may be the very last thing on her mind right now.
Or this could be everything. This could be her completely changing her mind and backing out. There's even a chance she's already given birth and can't decide if she wants to call the agency or not.
We just don't know. And we won't know until she decides to call. Oh, how I hate being so dependant on someone else for something I so desperately want! It's not a fun feeling.
I'm trying to avoid feeling stressed and worried. Those feelings only come from the devil. My God is big and my God is in control. He has this all figured out. But still, I am feeling quite anxious. I can't quite get rid of that feeling right now. I just want to know something.
But for now, we will just sit and wait. We will pray, and sit, and wait. We will try to go about life in a normal way, even though I know I'll have a terrible time pretending. I just hope we don't have to wait long. I'll take any answer, as long as it's an answer.
Your prayers for everyone involved are appreciated.