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I am so happy being married and living with my best friend. We adopted our first child, Ari, in 2011 through a domestic adoption and our second, Jude, in 2014.

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Tuesday, August 2, 2011

One Day at a Time

Adoption must be taken one day at a time. You can't get too far ahead of yourself, simply because things rarely stay the same or consistent in this process. And yes, I'm writing this because it seems that we might have a change. Or at least a bump in the road.

Yesterday the adoption agency told us that the birthmom was having a doctor's appointment later that evening. I'm not sure what OB has evening appointments, but apparently hers does. So, naturally, I was a little anxious all day waiting to hear news. I had pretty much assumed that something a little significant would happen since she's due August 7th and a week and a half ago her doctor said he wasn't going to let her go much longer.

So I waited, and waited, and waited. 8:00pm rolled around and I decided to check in with the agency worker. She still hadn't heard anything from the birthmom. Then 10:00pm rolls around and still nothing.

This morning and this afternoon? Nothing. I know the agency has tried to get a hold of her a few times, but they aren't getting anything back. They said all we can do is wait for her to contact them.

This could be nothing. This could be her preoccupied with the two children she already has. This could be her miserably pregnant in this awful Oklahoma heat. Returning phone calls may be the very last thing on her mind right now.

Or this could be everything. This could be her completely changing her mind and backing out. There's even a chance she's already given birth and can't decide if she wants to call the agency or not.

We just don't know. And we won't know until she decides to call. Oh, how I hate being so dependant on someone else for something I so desperately want! It's not a fun feeling.

I'm trying to avoid feeling stressed and worried. Those feelings only come from the devil. My God is big and my God is in control. He has this all figured out. But still, I am feeling quite anxious. I can't quite get rid of that feeling right now. I just want to know something.

But for now, we will just sit and wait. We will pray, and sit, and wait. We will try to go about life in a normal way, even though I know I'll have a terrible time pretending. I just hope we don't have to wait long. I'll take any answer, as long as it's an answer.

Your prayers for everyone involved are appreciated.

13 comments:

The Kellys said...

Many many prayers for all of you.

Ashley Roberts Green said...

Hugs and prayers for you Vanessa. I've been thinking of you and praying for you all afternoon. You guys are so incredibly amazing.

Shirley Thomas said...

I am so sorry you and Mike have to go through this waiting... Keep your heads up and be positive. There are a lot of people praying for you two and God will take care of you. I love you both and I will continue to think of you all and I will be saying lots of prayers for you.

Bethany Bell Good said...

Yuck. Just yuck. Been thinking of you all afternoon and checking in for an update. Praying for you two and the birth mom...I can't imagine this situation from either perspective. Hang in there!

Linda Lathrop said...

Prayers all around....

Jenny 'White' Connell said...

thinking of you and mike all day and praying praying praying for an answer. love you guys

Danna 'Nelson' Townsdin said...

Praying praying praying....love you guys so so much!!!

Lori Connell said...

keeping you close in prayer. Love you both!!

Jan Preston Green said...

Will continue praying!

Bethanie said...

Trust your instincts.

Kristi Bowers said...

Praying

Lynessa Wilson Yeats said...

You are so right, Vanessa... We have a BIG GOD... our God can do anything we ask or imagine. I am praying too and can't wait to hear good news.

Candice Lugo said...

Praying!