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I am so happy being married and living with my best friend. We adopted our first child, Ari, in 2011 through a domestic adoption and our second, Jude, in 2014.

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Sunday, March 14, 2010

On To Plan B...If We Even Know What That Is

On Wednesday Mike and I found out that our first round of IUI didn't take. It was to be expected, since it hardly ever happens on the first try, but it was still hard news to hear regardless. Although we trust in God's plan and what He has designed for our lives, we still hope and pray on a daily basis for that little miracle to show up. But since it didn't, we were moving on to the next step. Our original plan was to simply begin another round of IUI once I started a cycle again. However, that plan seemed to change on Friday.

For those who are sensitive to "womanly" things, stop reading now...

On Friday I started another cycle. Now, due to my endometriosis, my cycles are always extremely painful. I'm usually in a good amount of pain for two or three days leading up to my cycle and then the actual day of, there's no chance that I'm going anywhere. It's generally just a "lay in sweat pants with my feet up" type of day, all day long. The pain is extreme and nausea is a common symptom to keep the pain company.

This last cycle, though, was the worst one that I have ever had. I could hardly walk this day and the nausea was intense. I knew I was in need of some help when I was sitting down, but felt the nausea growing. There was no way I would have been able to make it to the toilet on time because I was moving so slowly and probably would have just ended up vomiting all over myself. It was then that I called my husband. His hours at work are strict and he only has so much time that he can take off, so he wasn't able to leave. I called my mom to see if she had a break in her day coming up soon so that she could just come over real quick to set me up on the couch with a barf bucket and some crackers (because there's no way I could have crawled into the kitchen). As soon as she heard from me she found a sub for her classroom for the rest of the day and came straight over to my house. Since we live so close to Mike's work he was able to take his 15 minute break and come over until my mom got there. The rest of the day I was pampered as much as possible while I barfed and barfed and cried and cried due to the pain.

This is where the change in our plans comes into play. I was in so much pain on Friday that my mother contemplated multiple times taking me to the ER because she feared there was something actually wrong with my appendix. It was all just the endometriosis though. This probably means that there's a lot more endo growing and it could be totally pointless to be doing these fertility treatments. So the new plan for now is to check back in with my doctor and see what he thinks about possibly doing surgery again to check out my insides and see how thick the endo is. That way we'll know exactly what we're dealing with at this point in time and can see what we need to be doing with that info. So until then we will just continue to put our faith and trust in God, knowing that He has the ultimate perfect plan in mind for our lives.


Shane said...


I wish I knew the perfect things to say, but I didn't want to use the fact that I don't as an excuse to say nothing at all. I have no idea how to relate to what you guys are going through, but wanted to tell you both that we love you. I wouldn't begin to know what might help you, but want to tell you that if there would be something, some way we could share this with you, we would love to.

Lori said...

No magic words, no way to make this better for you and Mike. Just know we love you both and that we will continue to pray for you both and keep you close to our hearts. Love you guys!
Lola and Pops

Tammy said...

Vanessa, There are no words that will make this easier for you. I know your mom's heart is breaking, and mine with hers. Sharing your experience will somehow be a blessing, to you or to others. God knows. He has a plan. And there are many who will walk beside you all as you journey. You have my prayer time. Love you!