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I am so happy being married and living with my best friend. We adopted our first child, Ari, in 2011 through a domestic adoption and our second, Jude, in 2014.

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Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The Snowball Effect

As most of you know, I have been going through some health problems for the past year. Nothing life threatening, but something serious enough to greatly affect my life. Well, the other day I asked Mike something involving my health and apparently I did not like his answer because I just burst into tears!! And that's when the snowball effect began. I started crying about that one thing, which led to crying about more things involving my health, which led to more and more crying about my health! And all this while I was sitting on the toilet!! Of all places to be while you're bawling your eyes out! *lol*

Now, I've never been one who's too much into psychology, but I was amazed at how one tiny thing suddenly brought up all of these emotions that I had no idea I had been feeling for the past year. I just kept saying, "I had no idea I felt this way, I had no idea I felt this way." as my sweet husband sat on the floor saying, "Me either..." Basically what it came down to is that even though I have so much loving support and care from family and friends, I still feel very alone in all of this. I feel alone because it is all happening to my body and no one else's, and what is happening is a complete mystery. Such a mystery that my doctor doesn't even know what to tell me! It is such a weird feeling to have all these things physically happening to you and you alone, and to have no explanation for them.

I do not say any of this to gain sympathy from anyone or to sound dramatic, because I am very thankful that my health problems are not as serious as they could be. This was just a very interesting experience for me! As bizarre as it was to have all those emotions come from one insignificant thing, I'm glad that it did. I didn't think I had anything to learn about myself, but apparently I did and I can't wait to grow from it.

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