Two years ago today the hubs and I began our long and exhausting journey to try and become parents. Two stinkin' years. I get emotional if I let myself think about that for too long.
After two years of infertility I am truly amazed by the idea of deciding you want to get pregnant and then it simply happening. Or even being able to become parents for free! That is such a foreign concept to me and yet it is what's natural. That's how it's supposed to happen. Sometimes that makes me feel like a freak...that I can't accomplish what's so natural to do.
Infertility is just such a long and frustrating journey. Sometimes I feel like we're not any closer to becoming parents today than we were two years ago. We currently have about three or four different avenues we could pursue for adoption, but we haven't really felt led to any specific one. It also seems like God isn't really opening doors for any of those avenues for us to really feel certain about what direction we should be taking. We just feel stuck at a deadend and it's frustrating. So very, very frustrating.
I usually try to remain upbeat and optimistic throughout all of this. I have my hope and faith in the Lord and know that He has an amazing plan in the works for us. But right now the journey to get there is just so overwhelming and has been really getting me down. Life will carry on and eventually we will reach our intended destination, but for now I just have the "blah's".