Kibo Group ~ Uganda

Resurrecting the ye olde blog for two reasons. One, to give Clint Davis a hard time. He knows why. And two, as most people know, Mike and I recently spent the first two weeks of February in Uganda. It was a truly incredible experience for us. It has given me so many thoughts constantly swirling around in my heard and heart that I've just got to get out there. This may result in a few posts or just this one. But either way, here is this.


Going to Uganda was something that was five years in the making for us. Five years of us feeling pulled and connected to Africa. Five years of going through two failed adoptions from Africa. Five
years of crying, seeking, praying, and asking the Lord why we felt this connection to Africa. And then suddenly the steps aligned for us to go. We felt called to go and the opportunity was there. To say that I was emotionally charged about this trip would be a slight understatement.

On January 30th we left Oklahoma and began our journey. After two days of flights and travel we arrived in Entebbe, Uganda. We then loaded onto a bus to start the 60-mile drive to Jinja. This drive took five hours!

Most of the people in our group of eight slept off and on for the majority of the drive. I dozed for about 20 minutes, but other than that I was awake and looking out my window. I was enthralled with what I was seeing, but I also became overwhelmed. I started working through thoughts along the lines of, "Why does the US get to be one way with money/healthcare/convenience, but Africa the extreme opposite? Is there even any point in trying to change all of this? To what level do you try to change things? Does it help or does it hurt?" I was truly overwhelmed and intimidated by those thoughts.

Then we had our first 24-48 hours in Jinja. We spent time with the people working for the Kibo Group, we listened to their meetings, we went with them to the villages. My previous feelings of overwhelming intimidation quickly became replaced by the overwhelming evidence of the impact that Kibo is making.

The beginning of Kibo's existence was simply a thought that some friends had while climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. And now there's so much to it. The ripple effect is amazing.

In just the building where Kibo has their offices, there is also The Source Cafe, a library, a gift shop, and internet access. There's a church that meets there and other companies renting office space there. All of this is connected to Kibo, allows more people to hear about their work, and reaches out to the people of Jinja.

Then there's the daily work that Kibo is doing. They are transforming lives in the villages through their different programs of Water Source, Mvule Project, Women's Empowerment, and CLTS (read more about those here.) Kibo is teaching the people how to live healthier, safer, more efficient lives. They're not trying to unrealistically turn everything upside down, but are instead working with the villages where they're at and with what they have.

And if that weren't enough, they are also transforming lives on a personal and spiritual basis. Clint has shared a story he got to experience about a village where Christians and Muslims are coming together to better their village with mutual love and respect for each other. Really amazing stuff happening there because of Kibo's presence, patience, and love.

Mike and I got to spend time in a village that was building new stoves. The husband of the wife receiving the stove was notorious for drinking every day. He never missed the chance to go out drinking with his friends. However, this day was different. Kibo had been to his village in the past with their CLTS program, so when he knew they were coming again he stayed around. Not only did he stay around, but he told his friends they would have to wait or go drinking without him that day. Not only did he pass on drinking and stayed around, but he was actively involved the entire time with helping his wife build her new stove.

I don't say this lightly: Kibo is completely transforming lives in Uganda.

And then all of this...the stories, the experiences, the moments shared...they find their way to the US. Through that hearts are being touched and lives are being changed here. I can personally say that right now I'm not even close to being the same person that I was before going on this trip. And for all the people who may never see any of this first hand, but hear the stories, their lives are still being touched and affected.

All of this, and so much more, came from some guys climbing a mountain and saying, "What if?" It started so small, but the ripple effect that Kibo has in God's kingdom work is simply amazing. And I know it's only going to continue to grow.

- - - - - - - - - -

If you don't know anything about Kibo Group, please take the time to learn about them here and follow their posts on Facebook here. You will love what they have to share!

When God Opens a Door...

When God opens a door and you don't walk through it…He just might open up every window in the house.


As most people know, we have a great relationship with Jude's birth mom. We have a fully open adoption there with direct and continuos communication amongst all parties. She was even involved with his first birthday party and it was a fabulous, comfortable, and perfect time.

Ari's adoption was setup as semi-open. We would send pictures and letters to the adoption agency and they would send them on to her. However, we were told she hadn't asked for any after he was about 6 months old, so that "relationship" pretty much stopped there. We have known that we live in the same town as her, so I'd always wondered if we might run into her, but it never happened.

Not until, that is, the day after Jude's birthday party. It was a Sunday afternoon and we headed to lunch with a group of people after church. As we got into the restaurant and settled, I immediately noticed her. B (what I call her on here) was there with her family, finishing up eating. I froze. Heart pounding in my chest. In 3 1/2 years I'd always imagined that I had seen her around town, but, of course, it was never her. But this time it actually was.

She looked at me. She looked at my mom. She looked at Ari. I just knew that she knew. And she seemed to look just as panicked as I felt. But then her and everyone she was with left within 5 minutes of us being there.

My heart was still pounding for quite awhile after the short "encounter". I just couldn't believe that I had actually seen her for the first time since Ari was born. And then I couldn't get out of my head the stark difference between the two days we'd just had…Saturday was a joyous celebration for Jude with his birth mom completely involved. Then the very next day we see Ari's birth mom and I just freeze. I started to hate that I didn't speak to her. I kept telling Mike that I just wanted to be able to say to her, "Look at him. Isn't he gorgeous??" I can't forget that brief moment and how I now longed to have spoken to her.



Now let's fast forward three months to last night. It's Tulsa Workshop time here, so we first had our annual meal time with some of our favorite people and one of the speakers in town, Josh Graves. At one point I had to step away to actually take a phone call with our attorney about Jude's adoption. While I was doing that, Mike began talking to Josh about adoption and actually told him the story I just told here. Later that night, after the assembly was over, Mike was talking to a friend of his who was curious about open/closed adoptions and again, told the same story to him.

Afterwards, a group of our, again, favorite people decided to go out for some pie. There was a big discussion about if we'd even do it, where to do it, etc. But everyone finally decided they were in, much against my will. I didn't want to go. I was tired, it was late, the kids were tired…blah, blah, blah. But still, we went.

There were about 14 of us total, so we were split up between two tables. I was sitting with two of my best friends and all the kids, and Mike was at a different table with most of the adults. After being there a few minutes Mike suddenly started walking towards me with his eyes as wide as could be. He then sat next to me and whispered in my ear, "I think Ari's birth mom is here. I think I see B." WHAT?!? I thought he was crazy. I waited a few minutes until I could see her from where I was and sure enough…oh.my.gosh. It was her. She was there.

I watched her for a few minutes. She scanned our big group a lot, but her eyes kept going back to Ari. She was watching him, smiling at him, laughing at him. Again, I just knew that she had to know. I decided I had to talk to her. I mean, in 3 1/2 years, we have lived in the same town as B and never seen her. But then, after developing a fabulous relationship with Jude's birth mom, we are in the same place as her twice within 3 months. I knew I had to talk to her. I knew God had orchestrated this moment for us to be exactly there.

So I did it. I walked up to her and simply said, "Hey, do you know me?" She just looked at me for a moment and I said, "You're B. And we adopted Ari."

Then she gasped. You guys, she outright gasped as tears filled her eyes. She said, "Oh my goodness, I was wondering! I was wondering why I felt so connected to him. I just couldn't take my eyes off of him."

And then I got to say it. I said, "Isn't he gorgeous??" I asked her if she wanted to meet him, which was, of course, a yes. So I called Ari over and got to introduce him to B. Oh my, what a special moment.

She was in so much shock that it really was him and us, just like she was imagining. She asked, "How did you know it was me??" I promised her that I've never forgotten her face. I told her that Ari knows he's adopted, that we talk about her in our house, and that she is very important and special to our family.

The rest of our time there was spent with her continuing to watch and smile at him, several of our friends and family speaking to B and hugging her, and us getting to talk to her some more. We exchanged information so that we could send pictures to her directly and had several more hugs.

She thanked us for saying something. Said it had made her night and that she had been really thinking about him lately. I don't think I have ever felt more strongly that I was in the exact place, at the exact time, that God wanted me to be.

I don't know where all of this goes from here. That may be it or it may be an opportunity for something more to grow. Please pray regardless that we are open to what God wants from us. And praise Him for putting together that night so perfectly and beautifully.

To Congo or Not to Congo

That is the question. The question that runs through my head over and over again all day long.

International adoption in DRC is very messy right now. The DGM there issues Exit Letters. An adopted child cannot leave the country without receiving an exit letter. However, in September 2013 the DGM completely shut down. This happened soon after a lot of articles came out about internationally adopted children being abused and rehomed. I don't think the DGM has ever issued an official statement about why they have closed, but this is believed to be the reason.

At first it was said they would be closed for up to 6 months. No one ever imagined it would take the full 6 months for them to open again. However, it has now been 7 months and there is no end in sight. We could start the process of an adoption there...get a referral, go through court in DRC, receive visas, etc. But could we ever bring the child home? Not sure. There are actually over 100 legally adopted children stuck in the DRC right now.

We're getting to the point where our home study is about to expire, so we have to decide if we want to renew it or not. I have researched adoption for just about every other African country out there and everything seems to be a shut door. Either we don't meet the age requirements for the country or they're in the same "messy" state as DRC and it is advised to not start an adoption there.

I emailed with one of our agency workers looking for advice. She said that DRC adoptions are very risky right now. But one silver lining/thread of hope we were holding onto was that a delegation from DRC was scheduled to come to the US from April 16-26 to meet with the Department of State. Everyone was really hoping there would be more information available after that meeting. Many families who have completed DRC adoptions were even going to travel to DC at this time to show how their Congolese children are safe, healthy, and thriving. However, yesterday the Congolese authorities announced that they would no longer be traveling to the US as planned.

So that pretty much crushed my spirit and blew away any hope I had left about us starting an adoption in DRC. We still have one potential lead with another country that we're looking into. But if that doesn't pan out, I think the idea of us going through an African adoption right now is done.

It hurts me so much to even think about that. Africa is heavy on our hearts. We can't imagine not doing an African adoption. I still collect African things while dreaming of creating a nursery for my girl. The other day Ari and Jude were both in my lap and Ari was playing with my necklace which has a charm on it with a picture of Africa. He picked up that charm and said, "See Jude, that's baby sister." Tears formed in my eyes immediately. We all dream of our baby sister from Africa.

I do believe that God blessed us greatly with the timing of Jude's adoption. I just know all this news and delay with African adoptions would be so much harder to take if Ari was the only child in our life. Jude came to us at the absolute perfect time. That blessing overwhelms me.

But there's Africa...still on my heart and mind every day. Please pray for us as we try to make the decision about what the future holds for our family there. Please also keep in your prayers the children and families affected by this exit letter shutdown. 

And Baby Makes Four

Since our sweet Jude Bug is almost 4 months old, I thought it might actually be time to update this blog about him. haha!

So yes, “baby brother” was born December 12th, named Jude, and is the sweetest blessing to our family.

We arrived at the hospital around 6:00pm on December 11th. However, he was a stubborn little boy and quite comfy in the first home his birth mom created for him, so he wasn’t born until almost 12 hours later at 5:23am. We stayed in the tiny labor and deliver waiting room the whole time. And even stayed awake the whole time because he really continually kept us thinking it would be “any minute now.”

We waited together with birth mom’s family in the waiting room. I waited some with her in the delivery room. We were all in constant texting communication with each other. We met Jude for the first time right next to her. I gave him his first bottle with us all in the room together. Over the next 24-ish hours after delivery and before discharge, we had rooms next to each other and visited often. It was such a tremendous blessing to share those moments, and Jude, during that time. I will never forget it.

Before she was discharged she came to our room to say goodbye. She was crying, I was crying, I think we were all a mess. There are just no words to describe what I felt at that moment and what all was happening. Some family members were in our room at the time and one of them said that seeing that moment, he felt and knew he was standing on holy ground. I’m bawling my eyes out just typing this. It was just very special and still leaves me pretty speechless.

We feel incredibly blessed to have these sweet boys in our lives. I was just telling Mike yesterday that it’s pretty amazing that we’ve had two successful adoptions in two years. I’m not really sure how many people can say that. Adoption can be expensive, stressful, lengthy, complicated, and unsuccessful. But here we are with two boys, within two years, through two pretty easy adoptions. We are truly and abundantly blessed.

(And now get ready for picture overload.) ;)

Sweet coffee cups my mom brought us.

Sleepy, but excited, eyes around 4:00am.

Ari meeting Jude for the first time.

My sweet boys!

First family picture! This was when we had been awake for about 32 hours, so please excuse the haggard look. ;)

Headed home!

Sweet newborn picture in his superhero nursery.
© Jenny White Photography

And a recent picture of my precious boys for Valentines Day.
© Jenny White Photography

Ch-Ch-Changes

About three weeks ago Mike and I went to the USCIS office in Oklahoma City to have our fingerprints done. This completed the process of filing our I-600A, the first big piece of government paperwork for international adoption. We were silly and giddy the whole time and just really excited about being one step closer to our girl.

A few days ago we received our I-600A approval in the mail. This means that we are now approved by the US government to adopt a child from a foreign country and bring them back here to the states. It also means that we are now able to be matched with a child through our agency. Such a big and exciting step! However, we are asking our agency to hold off on giving us a referral right now and here's why...

About six months ago someone contacted me and let me know that they were pregnant and looking to place their child for adoption. Now, let me tell you this...I, obviously, have a passion for adoption, but I also have a passion for birth moms. I love and respect them so much. So I was really excited to talk with her and give her any of my advice and support I could offer.

Over the months one thing kind of led to another aaand...she has chosen us to be the adoptive parents to her baby! So yes, we are now on plan to adopt a baby boy here in the states in early December. The due date is a little less than 10 weeks away. We are shocked, thrilled, honored, and excited. And I mean seriously, talk about an honor. I never expected this when she and I first started talking, so what an honor that she wants us to be this part of the process and journey now. And though I'm sure Ari isn't quite sure what it all means, he absolutely loves talking about his "baby brother" to come!

So the million dollar question is, "What about Africa now??"

I wish I had a solid answer I could give you. All I have is our thoughts and plans for this moment and here they are: We still have a passion for Africa and Congo. We still believe strongly that our daughter may be in Congo. So we are not closing out our international adoption process. We are still keeping everything current with our Congo agency, but just asking that they hold off on giving us a match/referral right now. We are doing this to simply give ourselves some time to adjust to having a two year-old and a newborn. Because heaven knows, that's going to be an adjustment!

How long will we be asking them to wait on giving us a referral after the baby is born? 2 months, 6 months, 1 year? I don't know. We're just going to wait and see how things feel once "baby brother" is with us and then take things from there.

For a personality like mine, that's difficult to do. I like rules, structures, and timelines. So this is certainly giving me an opportunity to put more faith in God and His plans for my family. I wish I knew exactly what was going to happen, but I never saw this coming in our path and wow, what a blessing it is!

So our faith and family is in God's hands and we will just take it all one day at a time.

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' name.

On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand; all other ground is sinking sand.

Progress

It has been a crazy two weeks for our family. The quick run down is Ari got tubes put in his ears, we had our carpets cleaned, Mike and I celebrated five years of marriage, we celebrated Fathers Day, we had our home study, we had to travel to OKC for an adoption orientation, and then we had a two day garage sale. Phew! I'm exhausted. But it feels SO good to have all of that done. Definitely a big step forward in progress.

Our home study visit went great. It's always a nerve racking experience leading up to it, but things are just fine once all is said and done. I was pretty nervous about having a home study with a toddler in the house this time, but he did really well, even though he woke up sick that morning.

Our garage sale fundraiser went great! We raised $887 from it! Some people were very generous with donations and some people still wanted everything for a quarter. haha! But we still came out very well. Three moments during our garage sale really touched me... First, a man who owns a used bookstore close to us stopped by. He paid way more than my suggested price for our books and then paid $10 more on top of that. Second, an Ethiopian woman came to our garage sale (we advertised everywhere that this sale was for our adoption from Africa) and she paid four times my suggested price on something. She asked where we were adopting from and when I told her Congo she said she was hoping it was Ethiopia, but she was still happy about that since they're neighbors. :) And third, we posted an advertisement picture for our garage sale on Facebook and asked everyone to share it on their pages. 75 different people shared it! That's a huge blessing on its own. But then a man we don't even know and lives in a different city saw the picture and mailed us a check.

I said this on my Facebook page, but there are so many times that adoption leaves me breathless and speechless. We are SO blessed!

And as a puzzle update, we have sold 9 more pieces! We're almost to 50 sold total. 954 more to go!

How to Donate: We are selling the puzzle pieces for $10 each. If you can, please donate money in-person or by mail. If that's not possible, you can click on the "Donate" button on the right sidebar under "Adoption Donations" to send money via PayPal. Please add your name(s) in the special note to sellers. Thank you!

A Few Updates

Doing a weekly puzzle fundraiser update has proven to be pretty much impossible with having a toddler in the house. That's been made kind of obvious since the last update about this was a month ago. But here's a new one for you!

We have sold 17 more pieces. That puts us at 37 pieces sold total, so only 963 more to go! And, as you can see from the fundraising thermometer on the left, if/when we finish this puzzle we will already have over half of our funds together! This is very, very exciting for us. So spread the word!

I love my late night evenings of working on the puzzle with this guy.

We almost have two whole sides done!

How to Donate: We are selling the puzzle pieces for $10 each. If you can, please donate money in-person or by mail. If that's not possible, you can click on the "Donate" button on the right sidebar under "Adoption Donations" to send money via PayPal. Please add your name(s) in the special note to sellers. Thank you!

Another fundraiser that happened in the last few weeks was Congo prayer bracelets. A very sweet friend asked if she could make and sell these for us. We, of course, said yes! And they have done very well. It's such a cool thought to think of so many friends, family, and people we don't even know wearing these.

And for my last update, we finally have our home study scheduled!! I never would have thought it'd take this long to get the initial paperwork processed and the visit scheduled, but now it's only two and half weeks away! After our home study is done and we have the official report, we will file what is called our I-600A with the USCIS. Hopefully just a few weeks after that we will have our fingerprints done at the USCIS office and then we are able to accept a referral! It could be months and months before we actually receive a referral, but it will still be very exciting to be in the phase of being able to accept one. Love seeing some progress be made in this long process.

That IS My Child!!

Back in February Mike and I attended a marriage seminar along with several couples from our church. It was called Love Worth Fighting For and featured Kirk Cameron and Warren Barfield. As much as the middle school girl inside of me loved seeing Kirk Cameron (in fact he sat just two pews behind me for a few minutes!), it was actually Warren Barfield who had the biggest impact on me.

First of all, if you haven't heard him explain his inspiration behind writing the song "Love Is Not A Fight", you really need to! (This is the song that was the theme to the move Fire Proof). I will quickly explain the background of the song, but it's nothing compared to hearing him explain it...

Basically, he and his wife got into a fight over something incredibly stupid. But the fight then brought up every frustration they had been holding against each other for years. He said they stayed about into the wee hours of the night fighting, screaming, and yelling. When they each had said everything they could, they just sat and looked at each other in a "Now what?" type of situation. They decided that if they were going to stay together in their marriage, they had to fight for it just as hard as they had just fought against it. That simple idea really stuck with me and has been so great. I have to fight for my marriage harder than I've ever fought against it. I just love that!

And if you haven't heard the song, you really need to listen to it. Powerful lyrics.



But then when he really got to me is when he started talking about Food for the Hungry, an organization focused on ending world hunger. Warren Barfield was talking about how he got involved with them by doing a monthly sponsorship for a few kids. After awhile he decided to take a trip and see first hand some of the kids receiving sponsorships.

When we were at this seminar I knew that international adoption was our next step. This was actually about the point in time where I had been spending a couple of weeks researching Congo like crazy and crying every night. So with that in mind, I was extremely emotional listening to him talk about his trip to see all these needy children. And then he took it up a notch...

He said he was actually telling this story at another marriage seminar and advocating for these children, but apparently it bothered a woman. She came up to him afterwards and basically told him that she hadn't paid money for the evening for him to try to make her feel guilty and she didn't appreciate it. He said he was speechless. But that he wanted to say to her, "What if that was your child's picture on this packet? What if that was your child having to daily fight for water? Wouldn't you want everyone to pay attention and help them out??"

At this point I was an absolute bawling, ugly cry, mess of a person. I'm telling you, I was weeping and sobbing. All that was going on in my head was, "That's my child! That is! THAT IS MY CHILD!!"

My child is somewhere in the Congo right now and is potentially hungry, thirsty, and in desperate need of a hug. They are so worth the cost, the paperwork (and paper cuts!), the time, and the advocating. They are worth it all and deserve it all.

A few weeks after that a friend posted this video on my Facebook. It sums up all my thoughts so well on the Christian call to care for orphans. That. Is. My. Child. And I can't wait to have them in my arms.

Puzzle Update - Week 2

In Week 2 we have sold 14 pieces! That makes for 20 pieces put together total. We almost have the whole bottom edge done!

How to Donate: We are selling the puzzle pieces for $10 each. If you can, please donate money in-person or by mail. If that's not possible, you can click on the "Donate" button on the right sidebar under "Adoption Donations" to send money via PayPal. Please add your name(s) in the special note to sellers. Thank you!

Puzzle Update - Week 1

We're one week into our puzzle fundraiser and we've sold 6 pieces! Only 994 pieces to go! ;)

Big brother "helping".

I love starting the puzzle with these two pieces. :)

6 pieces total!

How To Donate: We are selling the puzzle pieces for $10 each. If you can, please donate money in-person or by mail. If that's not possible, you can click on the "Donate" button on the right sidebar under "Adoption Donations" to send money via PayPal. Please add your name(s) in the special note to sellers. Thank you!

Here We Go Again, Part 2

Now here's the part of adoption that no adoptive parent really likes. It's embarrassing. It's humbling. Let's be honest, for us, it's the f-word.

Fundraising.

Adoption is expensive. Plain and simple. But we can't let the cost stop us from adopting. Every child deserves a home and we will do our part to help with that for as long as we can.

For this adoption we expect all costs (agency fees, government fees, and traveling expenses) to total about $35,000. As you can see, I have my lovely fundraising thermometer back on this blog to the left. We already have a little over $4,000 of this.

The kicker that came with this is that we fall under new adoption tax credit laws. We finalized Ari's (yes, I'm using his real name...I can't keep up with nicknames) adoption in 2012 and things changed like crazy then. The adoption tax credit was paid in one large sum the two previous years. But now the government has up to 5 years to pay you the credit. And they will only pay you each year the amount that you paid in taxes for that year.

Are you still with me...? So for us this means that this year we are getting less than 20% of the credit. That leaves us with $10,000 less than what we were hoping to have to apply for Adoption #2. Ouch.

This was hard to process. It sucks, plain and simple. But we must move forward with faith. We will simply be saving, fundraising, and applying for grants like there's no tomorrow.

So our first fundraiser...the puzzle fundraiser! This is a picture of the puzzle we will be using. It's called African Landscape.

We did this with Ari's adoption and loved it so much. The idea is simple...we have a 1,000 piece puzzle. We are "selling" the pieces for $10 each. When you buy a piece we will write your name on the back of it and add it to the puzzle. Once it is completed, the puzzle will be framed in a double sided frame and hung in our child's room so they can see the names of all the people that helped bring them home.

Now, how to donate: The best way is to give us check or cash in person or mail it to us. However, if that's not possible, there is a "Donate" button on the right side of this blog that allows you to give us money through PayPal. And no, you don't have to have a PayPal account to use it. PayPal does take a percentage of all donations, so that's why it's not the preferred method. But if you're willing to donate, we're willing to accept it anyway that works for you.

Thank you for being a part of our story!

Here We Go Again

First of all, I'm the worst blogger ever. It's very easy to blog all throughout the adoption process. There always seems to be a lot to talk about then. But once the process is over it's not so easy to write a blog post on teething, toddler eating habits, walks around the neighborhood, or other random day-to-day activities. And I don't think that would be too interesting to read either.

But here I am writing another blog post. If our day-to-day life isn't interesting enough to talk about, that can only mean one thing. I'm here to write about adoption. And that adoption topic is...

We're officially adopting again!!

© Jenny White Photography

And yes, that is Africa you see in our picture. We have signed on with an agency to adopt from The Democratic Republic of Congo. We expect this to be a 1-2 year process from start to finish.

So, why Congo? Honestly, we feel like Congo chose us. We have always wanted to adopt from Africa, so when we started looking at this it seemed like every agency had an Ethiopia program. We kinda just thought to ourselves, "Hmm, okay. I guess we'll go with Ethiopia." But the more I looked into I realized that adoptions from Ethiopia are now taking an approximate of three, maybe more, years to complete. We knew we didn't want to wait that long.

All I know that happened after that is that I spent several hours every night for about two weeks researching adoptions from Africa. I truly have no clue how it began, but through a few things adding up and talking to a few connections I made, we discovered Congo. After looking into some of the facts of this country I simply couldn't turn away. I then spent a few more nights simply weeping over this country and the children in it. (And making the hubs stay up very late watching documentaries about this place. You can see some of those here and here.) Congo found us, nestled its way into our hearts, and would not let go. And I'm so happy for that.

So for those that want to know specifics, here are some of the facts that I could not close my eyes to...

• There are 5 million orphans living in Congo alone.
• 20% of children do not live past the age of 5.
• Half the population does not have access to clean drinking water.
• War and conflict have led to the death of 5.4 million people since 1998. It is the deadliest war since World War II.
• Congo has been named as the worst place on earth to be a woman. The sexual violence and rape in Eastern Congo is described as the worst in the world.

So really, the question is, "Why not Congo?"

We have already sent in our contract and first payment to our adoption agency. We are now working on the piles of paperwork to get a home study going. This will be a lengthy process, but we are so excited to get started and take you all on the journey with us!

Officially Ours!

Little Pirate has always been our boy ever since we laid eyes on him. But last Friday, September 21st, a judge made it so in the eyes of the law. I am officially a mommy, the hubs is officially a daddy, and Little Pirate is officially stuck with us forever! ;)

It really was altogether a great experience. Our judge was really relaxed and easy going, cracking jokes the whole time. Little Pirate was way overdue for a nap and super squirmy, but still did well.

I'm just so thankful that after nearly 14 months this process is done and we are forever a family.

Ready in court and listening to the judge.

Could we be any happier??

The moment he was officially declared ours!

With our judge.

Our official family!

With all the grandparents.

With our wonderful attorney and friend.

With his wonderful Aunt Ashlee! September 21st is her birthday and now also Little Pirate's adoption day. Love that they get to share this special day together.

Finalization

Tomorrow we will be at the court house to finalize Little Pirate's adoption. What a wonderfully exciting day! We've been waiting for this for so long. It's something that should have been done when he was 6 months old and now at almost 14 months old we've finally gotten there. Excited doesn't even being to describe my feelings.

But I am, also, having some mixed emotions. Tomorrow Little Pirate will be declared my child. He will be issued a new birth certificate with my name on it stating that I gave birth to him. I know that I'm his mom no matter what, but adoption just isn't as simple as that.

There is another woman in this picture. The woman that gave birth to him and she is so important. It seems like this new birth certificate almost erases her out of the equation.

I am his mom, but she will always be his birth mom and that is so special to me. This all just reminds me so much more that it is my job to keep her memory alive in our family, to speak of her, and to make her known to Little Pirate.

Catching Up

Oh, blogging...what a love/hate relationship we have. I can never make up my mind on if I want to continue this thing or not. Do that many people even blog anymore? Does anyone particular even actually read this blog? Who knows.

All I know is today, I feel like blogging. Next Friday, September 21st, we finally have a court date to finalize Little Pirate's adoption. There's a ton of thoughts swirling around my head about this that I need to write down, so that will be coming. But for now, I'll just play a little catch up.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Since I was last on here our little family, of course, got to celebrate Mothers Day and Fathers Day. What wonderful firsts for us! The days were simple and blissful. We just enjoyed time set aside to celebrate parenthood and our sweet little boy who made us become parents.

We also took the time on those days to speak to Little Pirate about his birth mom, B. I want her name to be a known thing around our house. She will always be a big part of us and the reason we are a family. We are so thankful for her.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

© Jenny White Photography

On June 2nd we lost this amazing man, my grandfather. He had been sick for awhile. In and out of the hospital for several years with the doctors always saying, "We think this is it this time." But he would shock them, get better, and leave the hospital. This seriously happened over and over again. What a strong man he was. But this time, it really was it. He was ready to go home.

I never want to forget the last time I was with him, so I'm writing it down here.

I got a phone call from my mom around 5:00am saying that he was unconscious, in his last few hours, and if I wanted to say goodbye I needed to come to the hospital. I immediately threw some clothes on and headed out the door. When I got there my parents, grandmother, aunt and uncle, and two cousins were already in the room. We all sat together and cried together in almost complete silence. After a little while I decided I was ready to say goodbye. I walked over to him, held his hand, and gave him a kiss on the forehead. I then whispered to him, "You deserve this. You've waited your whole life for this and you deserve to go home now. I love you."

This is a picture I took of him and his beloved bride (as he still liked to call her) in their last few moments together. He died the day after their 58th wedding anniversary. There's something very special about that to me...I know he held on long enough to honor that. In fact, the day of their anniversary he was still conscious and called my mom to make sure she had some flowers delivered to my grandmother from him. They had a love that truly inspired everyone around them.

I am so thankful that my grandfather was able to be around for the first 10 months of Little Pirate's life. It makes me so happy that they knew each other. My grandfather loved him so much and would ask me almost on a weekly basis if the adoption was finalized yet. I so wish he could be here next week when we got to the court house. But, of course, I know he will be with us no matter what.



- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In June the hubs and I participated in The Color Run with my brother and sister-in-law. We had such a great time! It truly is the happiest 5K on the planet.

And then in July we all went on a family vacation together to New Mexico. As always, family vacations are crazy, so much fun, and totally exhausting. haha! We really enjoyed being with everyone for a week and taking Little Pirate on his first vacation.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

© Jenny White Photography

On August 8th my baby boy turned 1!! How is that even possible? What a great year we've had with him. It went by faster than I could have ever imagined and I know it's not slowing down at all. I just have to hold on and savor every moment.

We had a pirate birthday party with all our great friends and family. It was fun and simple. We really appreciated everyone coming out and celebrating this time with us.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So there's my attempt at catching up a little bit. Our life really isn't that exciting, so I just don't think about blogging much. Maybe there will be more, maybe there won't. I'll just have to try and give it some time when inspiration strikes me.

Thanks for reading, if there's anyone out there! ;)

The Joy and Pain of Mother's Day

What a bittersweet holiday this is for me now. Let's be honest, it used to just be bitter. I spent three years avoiding every thought about this holiday. But now I am a mom. I finally get to be honored and thought of on this holiday. And yet, it's still a little bitter.

You see, I am still an infertile. No matter how many beautiful babies I am blessed to adopt in this life, I will always be infertile. And my heart aches on this holiday for my sisters struggling with the same issue.

I also cannot even give an ounce of thought to myself on this holiday without giving a thousand more to Little Pirate's birth mom, B.

And these thoughts simply lead me to many other mom roles that I just have to address.

To those women who have never been a mom (whether through birth, adopting, fostering...anything), but still fulfill a mother role to some... You bless so many people. I am lucky to have one of these in my life. My sweet second mom. You women are amazing and I promise, people are thankful to have you as a mom in their life.

To those women who have lost a child (in the womb or at any age)... Please don't doubt for a minute that you are a mother. Know that you and your child are remembered, thought of, and loved. I know that your babies are celebrating your name in Heaven.

To those women who are struggling with infertility... My heart aches for you this weekend. I've been there and I know the pain of just trying to make it through another holiday celebrating everything you don't have. Please know that you are a mother. It is in your heart, it is in your dreams, it is who you are.

To those women who are birth mom's... You are the epitome of the love and sacrifice that is required to be a mother. Please know that you are to be honored and remembered this weekend. Please know that you are loved and appreciated. Please, please know that you are never forgotten.

Mother's Day just isn't a simple holiday. It involves too many different roles and emotions. Please remember this as you go through the weekend. Celebrate all women as mothers and let them know that they are honored and loved.

Uninhibited

This morning at church the hubs, Little Pirate, and I sat with my parents. We normally sit on the opposite side of the auditorium from them with our friends and all their kids. But Little Pirate has had a yucky cough, so I didn't want to risk getting any of the other kids sick.

Now just a little info on my parents... They are very bold in their faith. They are not ashamed of it and will praise God anyway they see fit. They are great role models.

So this morning while we were singing songs my parents both lifted their hands up in praise to the Lord. This isn't uncommon for them to do. But we don't usually sit with them, so Little Pirate was very intrigued.

He was staring at them the whole time. He just couldn't keep his eyes off of them. He kept reaching for them and touching my mom's hand. He was in awe of them being in awe of the Lord.

It was a beautiful moment for me. It was just so sweet to watch him watching them. I prayed right then that he may grow up to have that kind of passion for the Lord. That he may experience the joy that comes from worshipping completely uninhibited.

I'm so thankful that he has such wonderful grandparents to be an example of this to him.

National Infertility Awareness Week

It is currently National Infertility Awareness Week (April 22-28). This is something that is still very close to my heart. I will always be an infertile. The joy of adoption is not a cure for infertility.

I truly feel that God has called me to build my family through adoption. I know that it is a part of His plan for my life. But infertility still hurts.

I no longer have the desire to be pregnant. But I do sometimes wish that I could build my family more easily. I have always dreamed of having four children, but I've had to slowly let go of that. It may still happen, who knows. But it's very unlikely.

Adoption is expensive. Yes, we all know that. But it is something that makes growing your family very difficult. I can't even imagine the ease of wanting to add to your family, so you just get pregnant. It's so simple. And yet so far out of my reach.

Adding more children to my family involves a lot of research, a lot of decisions, and a lot of money saving. I have no idea when we'll add more, but yes, we are already having to save for #2 even though it's probably years away.

My son is my joy. I have a passion for adoption now. But infertility will always be a part of my life.

It is now estimated that almost 1 out of 6 couples deal with infertility. You may not think you know someone who suffers from this, but I promise, you do. Please be sensitive to the struggles of people dealing with infertility. Be aware, reach out, and let them know you care.

Happy Easter!

The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you." So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples.

Matthew 28:5-8

I pray that you all have had a wonderfully blessed Easter weekend with your friends and family as you remember the gift of the Resurrection that Christ gave to us. Today, may your heart be filled with the same joy that those women were filled with that day. And may your belly be filled with a few chocolate bunnies too!

© Jenny White Photography 2012

Prayers, Please

Last night the hubs and I did a little shopping at the mall. I actually hate going to the mall, but I had some birthday money and good coupons...the combo was too much to resist. We ended up being there a little longer than expected, so we decided to get some dinner in the food court.

As we began to wander around the food court trying to decide what to eat, I saw something I will never forget. It caught my eye right away.

I saw a man and two children sitting at one of the many tables. The man's back was to me and I could see the children's faces. Just from seeing the back of him, I could tell that the man was tense and angry. Then I saw the child's face (who was probably no older than 8) that was the object of his anger. I will never forget his face. Terror. Shame. Complete and utter sadness.

As I continued to walk around the food court, pretending to decide on a place to eat, I made a point to walk past their table. It was then that I heard every cuss word imaginable used multiple times. It was all put together to make the point clear that this child was worthless and deserved nothing in life.

I was in complete shock. I didn't know what to do. I desperately wanted to say something. But I didn't want to bring any harm onto my family as I was standing there holding my son. To say that this man was scary and shady looking is quite an understatement.

I also was afraid of simply angering him more and him taking it out on the children later. Fear paralyzed me. I will never be able to decide what the best thing is that I should have done.

Our family sat down at a table and the man and two children left just a few minutes later. I immediately started crying. I couldn't hold it in. Like I said before, I will never forget the fear and sadness that was on the child's face. So I just sat there and cried in the middle of the food court.

I kept hoping that a camera crew from ABC's show "What Would You Do?" was going to pop up out of nowhere, assure me that everything was staged, and ask my opinion on the situation. But there were no cameras, no lights, no friendly TV host.

After I was able to dry up my tears a little bit, I held my son tight. I hugged him. I kissed him. I told him over and over again how important and special he was.

Then I prayed. It was the only thing I could safely do in that situation. And that's the point of this post. To ask for prayers. Please pray for this little boy...for his safety, protection, and self-esteem. Please also pray for that man...for his anger issues, for his heart, and for his self-esteem as well.

I'm not sure the guilt will ever leave for not saying anything. But the fear of the child having more repercussions later because of my actions stopped me. So all that's left to do is pray. I beg everyone that's reading this to please just pray.