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I am so happy being married and living with my best friend. We adopted our first child, Ari, in 2011 through a domestic adoption and our second, Jude, in 2014.

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Monday, May 10, 2010

Scratch That Last Plan

Oh, how one day can change everything. Wait, no. Oh, how just 15 minutes spent with your doctor can change everything!

On Friday I had a follow up appointment with my doctor regarding my surgery. We went over what he found and then discussed where we would go from here. I told him that our wishful thinking makes us want to be able to get pregnant on our now that I've had this surgery. He talked about my problems and any issues the hubs may have. He then very bluntly, yet so sweetly, told me that with our combined problems the chance of us conceiving a child on our own or through IUI is 0%. Ooouuuccchhh!! Can you imagine how that knocked the wind out of me??

Now, this man has a knack for always being able to tell when I'm about to cry. He also has a knack for always making me cry! I think he does it on purpose!! But right after that little kick in the gut he told me not to fall apart and to stick with him. He said not in a million years would he tell someone that they would never get pregnant on their own. It's always possible. After all, it only takes one egg and one sperm. But...the stats and numbers exist for a reason.

So where does he say that brings us to...oh yes, IVF (in vitro fertilization). If we want to get pregnant this is where our money needs to be spent. Our family will be built through IVF and/or adoption. Both are incredibly expensive and both are incredibly stressful, but we have to choose one for now.

Truly, right now, my heart is in IVF. I want to create a life. I want to feel life growing inside of me. I want to give birth to life. I want to see my features reflected back in that life. I will not be ashamed of having these feelings either. I believe that they are all natural feelings for a woman.

There's a lot of research, saving money, and prayer to be done before we proceed with anything. But we will proceed. I just can't sit back anymore. We have been trying for 20 months now and we must press on. As Dr. Nilson said to me before I left his office, "You will have a baby. It might take a while and you might have to use a lot of money, but you can get pregnant." (Like I said, I think he tries to make me cry on purpose!) I really believe what he says. One way or another, our family will expand. We will be parents. Through lots of prayer (and lots of Google-ing!) I believe we will reach a concrete decision soon of where we are headed. Stay tuned. :)


andrea said...

thomas family-

karen van sickle sent me the link to your story. we are going on 4 years of infertility. right now we are seeing a specialist that deals with natural treatments, he is very popular and has several out of town clients. however, God is ultimately in control and even with the specialist we are still not getting the results we wanted. hang in there, we are praying for you. a good book to read is Hannah's Hope. if you ever want to chat about things, let me know. hugs!
-Andrea and Aaron

Bruce Van Sickle said...

Thanks for sharing so openly and honestly about everything.
WE will pray for all the right pieces of the puzzle and $$$ to fall together at just the right time for you.

Whitney Green Hicks said...

Vanessa, please please give me a call if you ever want to talk. Maybe we can grab coffee sometime. I have been there! If you decide to go with IVF, I have all kinds of tips from when I did it. You are a parent...and your family will be complete someday. I had a friend that told me I've always been a mommy, I just don't have any kids yet. I'll be praying for you all!

Mark Connell said...

love you!

Lori Connell said...

Love you and our prayers are with you!

Candice Lugo said...

It will happen! Hang in there girly, faith and hope can carry you thru until just that perfect moment that you are waiting for. :)

Aaron Henley said...

Statistics do exist for a reason...for God to defy them.
It will happen. One way or another. Praying for you right now.

Sara Theriac said...

You were meant for the role of a mother, probably since you were three. You inherited all of the qualities of a great mom and I would imagine it will be effortless for you. Good luck with everything and i'm looking forward to congratulating you on being a mother. Hope your doing well

Krista Magnusson said...

Vanessa, I just read this & sat at my desk crying. I love your heart and your openness! You are precious and I know God has an amazing plan for you guys! I can't wait to see it unfold! It will happen! I love you and continue to pray for you!