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I am so happy being married and living with my best friend. We adopted our first child, Ari, in 2011 through a domestic adoption and our second, Jude, in 2014.

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Thursday, March 29, 2012

Prayers, Please

Last night the hubs and I did a little shopping at the mall. I actually hate going to the mall, but I had some birthday money and good coupons...the combo was too much to resist. We ended up being there a little longer than expected, so we decided to get some dinner in the food court.

As we began to wander around the food court trying to decide what to eat, I saw something I will never forget. It caught my eye right away.

I saw a man and two children sitting at one of the many tables. The man's back was to me and I could see the children's faces. Just from seeing the back of him, I could tell that the man was tense and angry. Then I saw the child's face (who was probably no older than 8) that was the object of his anger. I will never forget his face. Terror. Shame. Complete and utter sadness.

As I continued to walk around the food court, pretending to decide on a place to eat, I made a point to walk past their table. It was then that I heard every cuss word imaginable used multiple times. It was all put together to make the point clear that this child was worthless and deserved nothing in life.

I was in complete shock. I didn't know what to do. I desperately wanted to say something. But I didn't want to bring any harm onto my family as I was standing there holding my son. To say that this man was scary and shady looking is quite an understatement.

I also was afraid of simply angering him more and him taking it out on the children later. Fear paralyzed me. I will never be able to decide what the best thing is that I should have done.

Our family sat down at a table and the man and two children left just a few minutes later. I immediately started crying. I couldn't hold it in. Like I said before, I will never forget the fear and sadness that was on the child's face. So I just sat there and cried in the middle of the food court.

I kept hoping that a camera crew from ABC's show "What Would You Do?" was going to pop up out of nowhere, assure me that everything was staged, and ask my opinion on the situation. But there were no cameras, no lights, no friendly TV host.

After I was able to dry up my tears a little bit, I held my son tight. I hugged him. I kissed him. I told him over and over again how important and special he was.

Then I prayed. It was the only thing I could safely do in that situation. And that's the point of this post. To ask for prayers. Please pray for this little boy...for his safety, protection, and self-esteem. Please also pray for that man...for his anger issues, for his heart, and for his self-esteem as well.

I'm not sure the guilt will ever leave for not saying anything. But the fear of the child having more repercussions later because of my actions stopped me. So all that's left to do is pray. I beg everyone that's reading this to please just pray.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

I'm a Runner?

Yes, the title is meant to have a question mark. It's something I ask myself almost on a daily basis. I very easily psyche myself out and say I'm not fast enough, athletic enough, strong enough, etc. to be a runner. I convince myself that I simply can't be a runner.

But here's the thing...

"If you run, you are a runner. It doesn't matter how fast or how far. It doesn't matter if today is your first day or if you've been running for twenty years. There is no test to pass, no license to earn, no membership card to get. You just run." John Bingham

Even as I type that quote though, I can still hear the voice in the back of my head telling me I'm too slow. Too slow to be "allowed" to be a runner.

However, despite my own self-doubts, I ran a St. Patrick's Day 5K with my sister-in-law last Saturday. I absolutely loved running it with her! She pushed me to run longer than I wanted to and was so encouraging.

My official chip time was 45:22. Honestly, that's pretty horrible as far as most seasoned runners are concerned. But for that length of a run, it was a personal best for me. I also achieved my personal best mile time that day which was 13:35. And I'm going to be proud of those slow, but good for me times.

I'm finally beginning to get to the point where I actually enjoy running. I look forward to it. I'm motivated to improve my times and endurance. I just have to keep pressing on, tell the little voice in my head to shut up, and recognize that I am a runner.

Loved seeing this guy waiting for me at the finish line.

Celebratory beers afterwards, of course! (I was holding one for the hubs as well, I promise!)

Saturday, March 17, 2012

First Family Vacation

Last weekend we ventured out on our first family vacation. Yes, it was only for the weekend. But that was enough.

A friend of mine was getting married in Dallas and I thought that would be the perfect little weekend getaway for us. Only three hours from home? Well, Little Pirate goes four hours between feedings, so I'm sure that'll be super easy! Only one full day and two nights? Sure, no problem! Hanging out in Dallas for the weekend? Awesome, we can do a lot of fun stuff!

I was wrong. Oh, so wrong.

Let's start with the fact that I woke up Friday morning (the day we left) feeling like crap. Headache, cough, congestion, runny nose. It wasn't pretty and it lasted all weekend.

We hit Dallas just in time for 5:00 traffic on a Friday night. And Little Pirate was completely done with being in the car seat at that point. He cried/screamed/wailed the entire last hour of the trip.

Once we finally arrived in town, our plans for the evening were to walk around Grapevine Mills Mall and have dinner there. We hit up the Rainforest Cafe for dinner first. I thought Little Pirate would love seeing all the different animals there. Nope, wrong again. I'd never been there before and didn't realize how incredibly loud and noisy it is. How is any child not terrified of that place?? Little Pirate was fussy the entire time. We then attempted to walk around the mall for a little bit, but that didn't last long with an overtired, overstimulated baby. We quickly headed back to the hotel exhausted.

On Saturday morning we met up with a local Chelsea FC fan club to watch the game with them. We were told they meet up at a restaurant. But guess what...wrong again! They meet at a bar where there's smoking. Yes, we took our baby to a smoking bar. And for some reason he was allowed in...still haven't figured that one out. Needless to say, we did not stay there long at all.

Saturday afternoon was pretty much just spent laying around at the hotel and trying to get Little Pirate to take a nap.

Then it was wedding time! But it was raining. Traffic was horrible. We were late. Little Pirate was in a very good mood during the ceremony and thought it would be a good idea to blow raspberries during the vows. He then was not in such a good mood during the reception. Again, overtired and overstimulated. About 45 minutes in he choked on a snack and vomited all over me and the hubs. Yeah, we left right after that.

On our way back to the hotel the hubs got a phone call from his friend whom he's helping coach a high school soccer team. You see, in order for us to take this weekend trip to Dallas the hubs missed the teams first tournament. Which they won. In overtime with PK's. Against the team that hadn't given up a single goal in the entire tournament. Yeah, it was a great game and he missed it all. I was so sad for him. He was very nice and fine with it, but I was still sad.

Sunday morning we checked out of the hotel as early as we could and headed home. We were ready to end our mini-vacation.

But really, for all the things that went wrong, we still had a good time. The hubs and I had a great time on our drive there and back just hanging out and talking. We got to see some old friends and have lunch with them on our way to Dallas. Little Pirate slept all night long both nights in his pack 'n play. I was very proud of him for that. On Saturday night, after the wedding, the three of us got to swim all by ourselves in the hotel pool. Little Pirate was quiet enough with his raspberries during the wedding that just the people around us were able to hear and, thankfully, laughed. He also caught the attention of the photographer and hammed it up for a few pictures that I'm sure are adorable. We found a very yummy place to eat in Dallas called Fuzzy's Taco Shop. I got to see a wonderful friend get married at an absolutely beautiful wedding. And I'm sure I could go on.

We had a wonderfully, exhausting first family vacation. But I don't think we'll be taking another one anytime soon. Unless, of course, grandparents are on the trip as well!

Ready for his first trip to Texas!

Keeping a close hand on Dad while at the Rainforest Cafe.

And eventually moved to his lap!

A new aspect to vacations...washing bottles in the bathroom sink.

My handsome boy and I ready for the wedding.

Love my guys.

The beautiful bride!

A few snuggles before bedtime...which happened to include some very eager pats on the head.

He loved rolling around on the hotel bed.

And possibly his favorite part of the trip...looking out our hotel window. He was obsessed with it!